This is probably…probably definitely-hopefully (in a weird way) our last real summer. Next May, after graduation, we will be in THE REAL WORLD…the real one, not at all like the one we live in now.
Because of this realization, we decided to take summer for all its worth. We’re not waiting for the sun..or for the weather…or even for May! We took our last exam yesterday…woke up this morning, and drove to Lake Murray.
Last night, Jamee, Michael and I went to Asheville NC to see Feist. This is her silhouette from the balcony:
I kind of want to be her.
(in reference to the EE Cummings quote “The poems to come are for you and for me and are not for most people- it’s no use trying to pretend that most people and ourselves are alike. Most people have less in common with ourselves than the square root of minus one. You and I are human beings; most people are snobs.” I wasn’t really supposed to tell anyone what it meant…He doesn’t want to ever explain it to anyone. And when that one special person comes up to him and says “Oh, I love EE Cumings”…then he’ll know-soul mate! Now, if you see him, you will already know what it means…pretend like you don’t-unless you already did, for we are tampering with his fate.
God isn’t here to take away our suffering or our pain but to fill it with his presence.
Today my little brother turned 18. I bought him lottery tickets and my dad thinks that’s a sin.
I finally unwrapped my journal. I bought it this past July while I was in Africa. It’s AMAZING. I’ve been scared to write in it because I’ve been waiting for the perfect words and the perfect stories and the perfect handwriting. I, of course, haven’t found those things, but maybe something better…something honest and sincere.
It smells just like the squatter camps we visited. It’s not like it smells good…but I can’t stop sniffing it. It’s like when you pump gasoline. You know its not a great smell…but you love it, and you can’t figure out why. I’ll never understand the power of your senses and the spark of nostalgia. Since I unwrapped my journal, all I’ve been thinking about is this boy. I don’t remember his name, I don’t think I could ever pronounce it. I just know he loved playing soccer. I just know I see his face every time I open my journal.
I fell in love with every word on every page and kept asking why we hadn’t met sooner. I wish these pages were a body with a brain and a soul…and good hair- I would surely marry him.
Thursday were going to see Bosc in Clemson.
(Even though I’m going to miss the new episode of The Office…I need TIVO!)
If you want to take a ride
I could stare at your face all night
blinking is the enemy.