If it isn’t boots and water and October and confusing things.
If it isn’t your hands and your eyes and your mouth.
If it isn’t second chances and forgotten intensity.
If it isn’t wondering the size of your very own heart.
If it isn’t two souls in wanting.
If it isn’t sleeping on the left side of the bed.
If it isn’t being intentional and being assertive.
If it isn’t hand written letters postmarked 2005.
If it isn’t the very second you told me I was wrong.
If it isn’t lies and secrets and empty parking lots.
If it isn’t random happenings and exploding hearts.
If it isn’t simpler times and fresh flowers every Wednesday.
If it isn’t being silent-if it isn’t being still.
If it isn’t the reason I broke into your house on the fifth.
If it isn’t conflicting emotions and feeling empty somedays-
if it isn’t the reincarnation of feeling and being whole somedays.
If it isn’t cloudy signals and singing in your car.
If it isn’t every single feeling.
If it isn’t your six-foot-one frame.
If it isn’t in your DNA.
If it isn’t feeling the universe shift.
if it isn’t repeating everything we don’t understand.
If it isn’t as awkward as ever.
If it isn’t being guided by your heart.
If it isn’t my streams of consciousness.
If it isn’t the way you always manage to sound intelligent without ever really answering my question at all.
If it isn’t those rare moments when you really understand.
If it isn’t being completely overwhelmed by the selflessness of another.
If it isn’t me wanting to know every single thing buried so deep inside your heart.
If it isn’t letting you change all my plans.
If it isn’t creative and receptive.
If it isn’t your weak analogies to help me understand what I already know.
If it isn’t the laugh lines that leak into your eyes.
If it isn’t these things.
What is it then, that true love is made up of?
Pieces of what?
I do not know.
It has happened before. It will happen again.
1. go to Africa
2. run a marathon
3. go to California
4. go to New York
5. travel (DRIVE) across America
6. Adopt a girl from China
7. live in at least 5 states other than SC
8. go on a bike tour
9. take a photograph every single day
10.learn to play chess
11. visit Italy
12. volunteer for an organization/missions in another country
13. learn sign language
14. go to the Super Bowl
15. have my own art studio
16. buy a boat
17. learn how to cook
18. send my parents on a surprise cruise
19. Go to all seven continents
20. go to Seattle
21. Go on safari
22. house foreign exchange students
23. watch the sunrise once a month
24. visit Chicago
25. find a love that stays.
26. travel to London
27. learn to drive a stick shift
28. kiss in the rain
29. find a job that I enjoy
30. write a book
31. go camping
32. see The Grand Canyon
33. never be too cool for karaoke-particularly if rednecks are involved
34. sleep on the beach
35. stay in a hostel in another country
36. graduate college on time!
37. open up a coffee shop
38. grow a vegetable garden
39. live on the lake
40. live in big city with a view from my bedroom window
41. learn to swing dance
42. sleep on the dock
43. learn to make wine
44. celebrate the Chinese New Year…in China!
New adventures keep us alive.
I’m coming for you, Seattle. (#20-CHECK!…soon)
I was just standing there thinking about how I’ve never observed selflessness in someone’s life, quite like Luke’s. I’ve never witnessed an innocence in the deepest part of someone’s heart, quite like Charis’ s. This is a love that I have yet to even understand. It made me smile and it made me cry. I can’t help but feel so honored and blessed to be a part of your lives. I will always love you both-just sometimes I won’t be able to put it into words.
Yeah, I know! I took ZILCH photos of Luke on his wedding day… I had other responsibilities! What can you do?
If you want to be a part of something good, give a Japanese girl some sweet tea.
This is Aya. She is from Osaka, Japan. She has only been in the states for one month and today I introduced her to some southern pleasantries such as sweet tea and ranch. She acted, well, like the rest of us- she couldn’t get enough.
She even took notes. How adorable is she?
My favorite thing about Aya is that she tells me I look like Cameron Diaz. It’s not like this surprised me- I mean, I’ve know for a long time that I’m a spitting image of the overrated actress. But Aya has been the only person other than myself to notice. Now, later in the conversation she did make me aware that most Americans look alike to her-but i don’t think that’s relevant right now.
I mean, look at us:
(I know-it freaks me out too.)
This just got really ridiculous really fast.
Concrete plans… there is no such thing.
When was the last time you looked someone in the eyes and said exactly what you felt? No ulterior motives. No backpedaling. Just laying all your cards on the table. Sacrificing your pride for truth. When was the last time you opened up your life and had an honest moment of human-to-human-interaction?
When was the last time someone searched out your heart to the very bottom? Someone made you feel like you were genuinely worth getting to know? And you did the same in return- seeking after the purest forms of their thoughts, feelings and ideas? For no reason other than you enjoyed their story. That with every broken and incomplete sentence, they handed you life.
When was the last time you made the effort to understand someone? You put aside your comfort and your ideals to better love someone?
When was the last time you had to do no more than simply think someone’s name, and you found yourself smiling?
When was the last time you did something for no reason other than you truly felt passionately about what you were doing? When was the last time you felt alive?
When was the last time you were guided by your heart and not your mind?
When was the last time you believed in God? And not just believed in God-but really believed in God-in His word. And by really believing every word, you lived your life accordingly. You REALLY lived like you believed. When was it?
When was the last time you followed the longings deep inside you? Whether it be a who or a what-when was the last time you got what you wanted simply because you wanted it enough to get it?
When was the last time you loved? Not even in a romantic way-but in an unrestrained way? A real and pure and selfless love? A love that doesn’t have a language.
When was the last time you liked who you were becoming?
I fall in love everyday.
It has been my experience lately that you feel everything
only seconds before you feel nothing.
(Side note: If you don’t have a friend that will drive an hour and a half just to climb in your bed and take a Sunday afternoon nap with you…then you don’t have a friend like Angela Cox. And that, is a heartbreaking thing.)
September 12, 2009