Christina Heaston

Marlboro Lights- part 2.

Posted in Uncategorized by christinaheaston on May 17, 2010

If I sit on your bed and say all the right things.
If I open my eyes a little bit wider.
If I remember your middle name, favorite band, and what you wore the day we met.
If I ever measure up to the person I’ve been trying so hard to become.
If I ever realize I’m just like everyone else.
If I read every single book you suggest.
If I am comforted by your familiar awkwardness.
If I spend all my money on plane tickets and red wine.
If I laugh until I cry.
If I kiss on the second date.
If I tell you how I feel and don’t end it with a question mark.
If I open up my life.
If I repair relationships.
If I ask forgiveness.
If I trust my gut, more affectionately named the Holy Spirit.
If I lay on my dock and enjoy the sounds of the cicadas and the occasional boat.
If I experience a mutual understanding of life with someone.
If I am in the right moment at the right place with the right people.
If I am sipping hot tea and listening to the avett brothers.
If I smile non-stop and wave at strangers.
If I take more photos and read more and quote more and cook more and live more.
If I move to Hong Kong oh a whim.
If I want something more intense than that.
If I am assertive-if I made plans.
If I know the feeling.
If I am comfortable with where I am and don’t feel the need to control every single area of my life.
If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames.

but have not love,

I gain nothing.

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2 Responses

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  1. Julie said, on May 18, 2010 at 2:25 am

    hey cristina! just wanted you to know that i found your blog and ive been enjoying reading it. the words, the pictures, the thoughts, all of it. i hope that you are well πŸ™‚ if you want to plan a trip to peru, i have an extra room! πŸ™‚ …seriously.

  2. christinaheaston said, on May 19, 2010 at 9:15 pm

    you have no idea how appealing that sounds to me.
    let’s talk.


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